Fate's Sense Of Humour
by myriassterre
Summary: BA. Fate is having a laugh at Buffy’s expense. Just after ‘Not Fade Away,’ Buffy and her Gang come to the rescue


Fate's Sense Of Humour  
By Maddy

**Summary:** Fate is having a laugh at Buffy's expense  
**Rating:** PG13, but bordering on R for language  
**Spoilers:** Um…everything?  
**Timeline:** Just after 'Not Fade Away,' Buffy and her Gang come to the rescue  
**Disclaimer:** Don't own a thing that other people already own g  
**Distribution:** Sure, why not. My site and at To Karen and Lea  
**Feedback:** Love some, especially since I haven't written B/A in about 8 months and I would love to know if I've lost my touch  
**Author's Notes:** Been a really long time since I've posted anything here and I haven't written B/A in 8 months, as said above, sorry but it's just something I haven't been able to write. I haven't watched an episode of either show in years and my life is being swept up in other shows. But in saying that, I do love these characters and have no intention of letting my WIPs remain incomplete. And this is un-betaed, so all mistakes are mine, hee!

* * *

It was pouring rain, it had soaked me to my bones, but I was too numb to shiver against the cold. I was too…focused. For lack of a better word I was so focused that I wouldn't have noticed if it started to rain fire. It could for all I care.

I could barely hear Spike screaming my name. Yeah he was alive, how's that for throwing a spanner in the works. Right now he was bleeding heavily. He was a vampire he'd live.

I decide that's funny: he'd live. Funny. But I'm not going to laugh.

This time it's Faith running up to me, she pushed me out of the way; I almost hit the ground while I see her stake a vampire. I watch its face as it registers that a piece of wood has pierced its heart. Shock, anger, resentment, sadness, heartache, regret, love. No, not love. Not from him.

Dust.

Angel.

Faith didn't dust Angel, I didn't see who did. But I did see it happen.

"Angel!" I scream, trying to remember where he stood, where he was as he crumbled into ash. "Angel!"

Faith grabs me by the arm and pulls me towards one of the buildings, my heartbeat quickens. She remembers where he fell, but as she shoves me against the brick wall, I realise this has nothing to do with Angel.

The wall feels rough, but slick with rain and possibly – it that demon guts? Ew. I pull my hand away and turn back to face the alley just in time to see Spike decapitate the nearest demon to him. I can hear Faith yelling at him but I have no idea what she's saying.

As Spike's battle axe swings to his side, he glances quickly around, noting where everyone is before looking up, raising his free arm over his head and screaming something out before running to where Faith and I were. If my brain was actually functioning on some higher level I would have noticed that everyone else had run to the sides of the alley, pressing themselves against the building walls.

Spike crouched in front of me and pulled me down so my face was level with his.

"She okay?"

I don't think he was talking to me.

"I don't know, answered Faith from behind me. "She hasn't said much and I can't see any blood."

Suddenly the sky lit up with an orange hue. My eyes widened as I saw fire rain down. I think I may be psychic.

Spike reached out and took my hand, "are you okay?"

I tried to shake my hand free, but thanks to his vampire strength and my near catatonic state, my hand stayed grasped in his.

I don't think I'm as focused anymore.

"Buffy, are you okay?" He asked again.

"I'm fine," I said, my voice was harsh and bitter. I saw Spike flinch in the darkness of the alley. I finally pull my hand free and lean against the brick wall. Demon guts or no I don't have the strength to support myself. I slide down a foot or so and hit the alley floor with a slight thud.

Spike and Faith shared concerned glances but I was too busy watching the demons catch alight to care. It must be special fire because the rain isn't affecting it in the slightest.

Any demon that dodged the fire and found their way through the numerous bodies would be close enough to the buildings to be killed by the Slayers or that blue god chick.

I don't know how many Slayers are dead, I brought twenty-eight, including Faith and myself brought the number up to thirty. I have no idea how many are still alive.

The alley is filled with the bodies of demons. Charles Gunn's body is amongst them, along with an unknown amount of Slayers. We arrived in time to watch Angel slay the dragon and for Gunn to fall.

Angel's eyes lost even more of their light as he watched his friend die. Wesley was also dead, that much I knew. I don't know the names of his friends and I'm not sure how many there were but I do know that there was more than just Gunn, Wesley and Spike. Don't even get me started on the blue chick; I haven't a clue who she is.

I remember asking him where the others were.

"They're all dead," he yelled back. I was momentarily stunned and searched for the right words to say but couldn't think of any. Instead I staked the vampire I was fighting and quickly reached out and took his hand in mine. For a second we stood there before approaching demons caused us to break contact.

Twenty minutes later Angel was dead.

As suddenly as the rain of fire began it ended.

"Thanks, Red," muttered Spike as he rose to his feet. Faith joined him while I didn't move an inch.

It was Willow's magic's that created the rain resistant fire. That made sense. How come I wasn't part of that plan?

"Where is she?" I find myself asking.

"Up on one of the roofs," answered Spike, looking skyward. "One of them."

I nodded.

The remaining Vampire Slayers were killing the leftover demons and there was very few of them. The demons, not the Slayers. I can't describe what I was feeling but it was somewhere along the lines of deep pride and joy that so many Slayers were still standing.

Spike and Faith joined the fray. I kept my back pressed against the brick wall unable to do anything else.

I watched them fight their way through the enemy and my instincts begin to tell me that I'm being watched: by the Slayers.

I blink in slight shock at the expressions of their faces. Some display pity, while most are just confused. Confused at to why I'm sitting on the ground, my knees pressed tightly against my chest with my arms wrapped around them.

I also see disappointment.

I rise to my feet without any assistance; I pull a stake out of my jacket sleeve and push aside the memory of Angel's last moments and rush into battle.

It ended quickly. We were all left standing amongst the dead demons and vampire ash. I felt physically sick.

Faith did a quick head count. Spike, Miss Blue and nineteen Slayers were alive. Nine Slayers had perished.

Nine dead. Lying in a back alley in Los Angeles.

Without a word I turned and walked away, they all followed behind me in silence.

Faith ran to catch up with me, "Angel had this hotel. It's huge and-"

"Where is it?"

"Here," she points to a large metal fence. It wasn't daylight yet but I could see a set of doors.

"Okay, let's in." I look sideways at Faith, "tell Spike to get Willow and bring her here."

Faith nodded and took off looking for the former dead vampire. I so don't want to deal with him right now.

I walk into the hotel with the nineteen Slayers following close behind. I begin to feel more like Buffy as I direct them to the tasks that need doing: we need light, water and medical supplies for those injured. Okay, for those who have more than just minor injuries. Not a single person was unscathed.

I belong to the group with only minor injuries; Faith is also in that group. My last major battle was an apocalypse and I got stabbed, but this time I have a bump on the head, scratches and a tonne of bruises. I'm going to be various shades of black, blue and purple tomorrow.

Faith joins me with Spike and Willow. My best friend hugs me tightly; I return the hug being mindful not to squeeze to tight.

"I'm sorry about Angel."

"Yeah." I nodded and pulled myself out of Willow's embrace. "You hurt?"

"Ha. On the roof I was well out of harm's way," she said dismissing my concern with a smile and a wave of her hand. "They were all too busy with you guys anyway."

"I'm sure they noticed when they got set on fire," cut in Faith. "I told you it was a good idea to bring her along." She said to me, giving me a nudge on the shoulder. I glance at her incredulous of her good mood.

"How did you get here?" asked Spike.

"Willow's coven friends sensed something major going on down here," explained Faith with her usual gusto. "They contacted Willow, who then told Buffy, who then gave the troops fifteen minutes to get ready for war. I tagged along and the Coven, well not all of the Coven, but some of them – how many were there?" she asked Willow.

"Seven." Willow answered.

"Yeah, seven." Faith nodded at Willow before turning her attention back to Spike. "They did some magic and poof! We were here."

"Poof?" asked Spike, hesitant to believe that was their method of transportation.

"Yeah, poof." Repeated Faith. Willow nodded and I shrugged in agreement. I didn't really think it was all that wonderful. One minute thirty-one females were standing in the largest room of the Coven's manor in Rome and the next we were standing in the pouring rain in an alley in LA. There was no lights or tunnels or any noise to indicate we had travelled to the other side of the world. "Well not 'poof, poof.' There wasn't smoke or anything, but once second we were in Rome and the next we were in LA."

See, that's what I said.

"It was pretty cool." She continued.

Willow looked on the verge of tears; she was fighting hard to not laugh out loud. Spike seemed to share her sentiment, but to a lesser extent, he was only smirking.

I was feeling quite the opposite, Angel was dead and they were smiling.

"Weren't you in prison?" inquired Spike.

"You see, if you had bothered to tell us you were alive you'd know these things." Pointed out Faith. Spike looked momentarily guilty and glanced at me, I quickly turned away. I didn't know how to deal with his presence, just as I didn't know how to deal with Angel's absence.

"Well, what's the story then?"

"I never went back to prison," replied Faith, looking very pleased with herself. I have never asked what it was like for her in prison. "Giles and his Watcher friends pulled some strings and I was free of all charges."

Giles once told me that the Council were masters of bureaucracy and were just as effective freeing people from jail with their pens and as they were killing people with them. It's a pretty impressive feat considering half the Council members are dead.

I never questioned the decision to free Faith, she was my sister Slayer and I believe she can do more good out of jail, finding redemption, than to rot away in a prison cell feeling sorry for herself.

Dawn and Willow weren't so agreeable but they got over it after Faith repeatedly saved their lives.

"Those Watchers are good for some things." Commented Spike.

"Finally," added Willow. Faith nodded. I didn't do anything.

One of the younger Slayers walked over to us, "Willow, we could use some help with the injuries."

My best friend nodded again, "sure. Faith, could you search the rooms for blankets…and anything else you think might be useful?"

"No problem," Faith shoved her hands in her jacket pockets. "Been here before, so it should be easy."

"I'll pitch in." offered Spike.

I hang back as they planned the next few hours and days. It didn't seem like I was there, I wasn't present in any form except physically of course. I just wasn't there.

I felt like sinking to the floor and willing myself to die.

I heard snippets of their conversation: clothes, food, water, medical supplies and when the option of someone checking the Hotel's rooms for any of these things I jumped, not literally, at the chance to wander the halls aimlessly for an hour or so.

Spike smiled slightly, "sure thing, love."

Sometimes he knew me too well. Made me want to punch him. I felt so broken.

Without a word I turned and walked towards the stairs, I heard the young Slayers whisper as I passed. I heard the word 'Angel' more than once. I wanted to scream, if I wasn't going to say him name then neither could they.

Reason and a lack of feeling in my throat kept my mouth shut and I ascended the stairs alone.

_Alone._

The conversation I had with the First entered my mind:

"'_Into every generation a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world. She alone will have the strength and skill to…' There's that word again. What you are. How you'll die. Alone."_

_Alone._

The first few rooms I looked in were empty, clean, but bare of anything we could use. It wasn't long until I stumbled upon his old room.

The door swung open and I knew instantly that Angel had slept there, had walked on that carpet and prepared his food in the kitchenette. It was his space; his refuge and I could feel him everywhere. I could smell him. I once told him that smelling other people was gross, it really wasn't. Okay, it depending on whom you smelt, but whatever.

Angel had always smelt like coming home.

I entered the dark room and sat slowly on his bed, sighing as I felt the day's events slamming down hard onto my shoulders.

My throat constricted and I fought to hold back the sobs, but I failed miserably. My hands flew to my face and I began to cry.

Faith was the one who found me. She didn't say a word, just sat down next to me and tentatively took my hand in hers.

I looked sideways at her, her dark eyes meeting mine and I was surprised to see them shined with tears.

"I'm sorry-" I managed to choke out before she interrupted me.

"About what?"

"I should have realised I wasn't the only one who would miss him."

Faith nodded, "but no one's gonna miss him like you are."

I nodded and wiped my eyes with my free hand. "I just…I didn't think this was going to happen again."

Faith kept silent as I poured my heart out.

"I thought it was over and done with, I'm such an idiot. It's not over; he's always dying and leaving me behind. I should have known it would happen again."

"You can't have known, Buffy, no one can know."

"But I wish I could."

Faith nodded again, I wondered if she thought this conversation was weird and awkward. Strangely enough, this was one of the best conversations I'd even had with Faith. She was never one to talk, well at least not to me.

I realised then how much she would miss Angel and what an impact he had made on her life and would continue to make. She would miss him so much. I squeezed her hand and leant against her and she returned the gesture.

I felt Faith's body begin to shake, her tears brought back my own. We must have looked pretty silly sitting in the dark trying our best not to cry hysterically.

Faith and I eventually exhausted ourselves and it wasn't until hours later that I awoke. I rolled off the bed and went in search of some comfort.

The fake and temporary kind of course: alcohol.

* * *

Life is funny. What, you didn't know? Well, then, let you tell you how and why life is so fucking hilarious. Would be believe me if I told you I wasn't drunk? Yeah, I wouldn't believe me either. Alcohol plus me always equals badness and yet it seems I haven't learnt my lesson. Nope, definitely haven't learnt my lesson and the floor would agree with you. Did you know it's hard to walk without falling over when you're completely smashed?

Off topic there, Buff. It's funny how even when I'm sober that seems to happen a lot. Wait, that right. That would be because life is funny. Fuck-ing hilarious.

Life, the pinnacle of funniness, threw me a curve ball last night and I've forgotten how to catch the ball while laughing so I dropped the ball and am now sitting in a bar in the worst part of Los Angeles drowning my sorrows with…I'm not sure what I'm drinking but it's awful.

Oh, crap and I'm all out. More please. I nodded at the barman who made his way down to where I was sitting; he smiled and asked what I wanted.

"Whatever this is I want some more."

"Okay." He paused, "you want a double this time?"

"I said no to a double?" I was quite surprised that that would have happened. No way would that have happened. I frown and tilt my head in scrutiny of the barman. I want to swipe the smirk off his face.

"No. But I think you should."

"Should what?" I'm confused.

"Say no to a double."

"Why bring it up if you don't want me to have one?"

"I'm just messing with you."

I'm silent and there must have been something in my eyes, I don't know, but the smirk fell from his face and I was surprised at the concern he now showed.

"Why are you drinking so much?"

"I'm not some booze hound or some person who is going to talk about their feelings to complete strangers so drop it and give me a double."

"Sometimes a stranger is the only person you can talk to."

I laughed at the irony. "I've been told that before."

"Well it must be the truth then."

I didn't think it prudent to mention that the last person to tell me that was a vampire who I dusted after pouring out my heart and soul to him.

"I have lots of money. Give me lots of alcohol in exchange."

The barman faltered and glanced behind him at the bottles lined up behind him when he turned back to face me, he was smiling slightly and I realised he had a nice smile.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea." said a person standing behind me. I recognised the voice and I swirled around on my barstool and I also recognised the face, it belonged to a body I recognised too.

Angel was staring down at me, he didn't look pleased, and he almost looked disappointed. I turned back to the barman.

"How much do you have to drink before you start hallucinating?"

He was very confused by that question and chose to ignore me. Instead he turned his attentions to the vampire behind me.

"You know her?"

"Very well."

"Not as much as he'd like." I muttered, knowing that Angel would pick it up with his vampire hearing. "Seriously, how much do you have to drink before you start hallucinating?"

"Okay, you've had too much to drink if you think that guy's not there." he reached across the bar and took my glass.

"Hey!" I exclaim, I try to get it back but the drunkenness has severely delayed my Slayer reflexes and speed. "Damn." I mutter as he walks off leaving me with my delusions.

But people don't normally see things that you're only meant to be seeing. Wow, let's try that again. If the barman can see Angel that would mean he was really here and not a sad pathetic, alcohol induced hallucination.

That would mean he was really here.

He was really here.

Here.

Not dead.

Alive.

"Oh. My. God."

I spin around again but sometime during my inner monologue Angel had moved. I frantically look around the crowded bar but can't see him anywhere. I think my heart just died. I think I'm just here because my brain still functions. In all other ways I cease to exist.

"Buffy."

Angel is sitting on the stool to my right. Okay, I'm alive again.

I sit properly, facing the bar. I don't know why but I can't look at him. I may be alive but at the moment I'm scared out of my mind.

"I'm here." he says quietly as he grasped my hand in his. I had forgotten how large his hands were. Angel gives it a slight squeeze which I return, though I'm too numb to figure out how my hand moved.

"You're here."

"Yeah." Has he always sounded this sexy?

I try to force my mind to sober up. But as some people how have tried to make themselves sober with will power alone knows that it does not work.

"I'm drunk."

He chuckled and I feel a deep sadness when I fleetingly think of all the chuckles and smiles and laughs I have missed in the five years since our separation.

"You get drunk often?"

It may seem like that was a general question, as way of continuing the conversation, but Angel never asked me general questions.

"No, Angel."

He nods and I think he smiled at the use of his name. It was the first time I had said it since I saw him turn to ash before my eyes, but he doesn't know that.

"What are you doing here?"

"You mean besides getting plastered?"

He nodded again; I look at him with more intent and less fear. His beautiful eyes are clouded over with concern and again I think I see disappointment. I look away.

"I'm sorry." I say taking a deep breath before pulling my hand from his. I'm amazed how easy it was to pull it free. I glance down at my hand, and then back at his, which is still resting on the bar. I repeat looking at both hands while my brain tries to sort out what I know, but can't seem to put into thought or words.

Strangely enough, Angel seemed to know what was happening. "My hand it's-"

"Real."

"Yeah."

"Because you're-"

"Here."

"Oh. My. God."

"Buffy-"

"Don't 'Buffy' me." I cry, no I mean I'm actually crying. I don't know if it's the alcohol making me doing this but I would like it to stop. Okay, maybe not.

But Angel on the other hand looks around nervously, as though begging the Powers That Be for me to not make a scene. I make a sound somewhere between a squeal and a sob and throw my arms around him. I'm drunk what the hell do I care about having self control or showing some decorum.

Before either of us realised what was happening, my lips were pressed against his. He responded in kind. He's a really good kisser, I smile against his mouth and ran my hands through his hair, my fingers threaded through easily because his hair wasn't gelled up. It felt strange.

I reluctantly pulled away. I was going to speak, I was going to tell him never to leave me again, that I loved him more than I did five years ago, I was going to tell him so many things.

"Angel, I-"

"Wow, that was…um…"

"I know the feeling."

I reached out and grasped his hand, enclosing it in my own. Or at least attempting to, have my hands always been this small?

"Buffy…"

"I'm drunk."

"Let's get you some coffee."

"I am sorry, Angel."

"About what?"

I love the crinkle that formed above his brow at his confusion. I continued in my apologies, this time say what I was actually sorry for.

"I'm sorry for the drinking. Believe me when I tell you this doesn't happen often-" He tried to interrupt me, but I kept on talking. "Or without good reason, or what may seem like a good reason at the time. I just need you to understand that I'm not a booze hound."

"A what?"

I chuckled and ducked my head, "don't worry about it."

"Okay."

I marvel at him, at his acceptance of whatever I said. He trusted me that it wasn't something to worry about, he took what I said at face value and it's been a long time since someone's done that.

I smiled at him, and waited for him to smile back. He didn't disappoint.

"I'm drunk."

"I remember."

I tilted my head to the side, "do you think I'll remember this conversation when I wake up?"

"You're not _that_ drunk."

"You rising from the dead has a sobering effect. You should have been here earlier." I said teasing him. Maybe I was still drunk, not a little, but a lot. I don't know. Here I am teasing him about being dead and I must seem like such an ass right now. Or a bitch. Maybe both.

"Couldn't get here, what with being dead and all."

He's amazing. I smiled again and he smiled back. Again. Boy, who knew we could smile this much? I mostly remember frowning and crying a lot.

"I'm going to be hung over tomorrow," I groan, resting my head on the bar. Angel lifts his hand and places it on my back, he rubs it lightly. Damn, that feels good. I turn my face so I can see his.

"Depends."

"On what?"

"Did you know," he began to say, standing up. "That vodka doesn't give you a hang over?"

I sit up; Angel takes my hand in his and pulls me to my feet. I wobble a little which is embarrassing with me being a Slayer. I mean, seriously, how many Slayers have you seen _wobble_? Angel uses his other hand to steady me, which is even more embarrassing. I don't think I'll be able to withstand the shame for much longer.

"Really? What did I have?"

Angel chuckled, "I don't know, you tell me."

"What does vodka taste like?" I asked as we walked towards the door.

"Pretty tasteless actually."

I shook my head, "I didn't have vodka. My drink was awful." This got another chuckle from Angel and I wondered if he was always this happy. I don't remember him being this happy. Smile, yes. Smirks, yes. But multiple chuckles, nope. I'm still drunk. I should eat something.

"Then you're gonna get a hang over."

"Maybe what I had is the drink that doesn't give you hangovers, not vodka. Maybe vodka gives you a hang over." I would have preferred that.

Angel pushed open the door to the street outside. Well, of course the street's outside. I stepped out into the cool night air. It was too cold for California. I must be sobering up since alcohol keeps you warm. That how that guy lived in that Titanic movie. Alcohol.

Angel steps up beside me and wraps an arm around my waist. It must be a bit uncomfortable for him to do that, I'm really short. I lean into him and we pause for a moment before continuing to walk back to the hotel. We need cars.

"Is this normal?" I ask after several minutes of silence.

"What's normal?"

"Talking about the properties of vodka."

"That was awhile ago."

I grin, "I know that. But I was just wondering. I haven't been normal for so long I don't recognise it anymore." I didn't mean for the conversation to go into territory that made either one of us uncomfortable, and this certainly did.

"Me either. But that doesn't bother me as much as it used to."

* * *

Angel pushed open the door to his room. The last time I was here I sat on his bed and cried, this time I just sit and fall back. My head is starting to hurt. He kneeled in front of me and slowly took off my shoes and placed them on the floor. I don't know where exactly, I can't see from here. Not that it's important.

I closed my eyes and listened to Angel move about the room; I think I may have fallen asleep because I don't remember getting underneath the covers. I bolted upright.

_Angel._

The room was empty and my heart clenched tightly in my chest. This cannot be happening, it just can't be happening. He was there when I closed my eyes and before that I remember Angel taking my shoes off. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair.

I fell asleep. What kind of person falls asleep?! A stupid drunk one, that's who.

I groaned and fell back onto the pillow.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…" I muttered under my breath, staring at the ceiling. I heard the door open and close. "Angel, I'm sorry."

"That's okay." His handsome face came into view, he was smiling down at me. I reflexively smiled back and held out my hand for him to grasp. Angel pulled me into a sitting position, a lazy smile spread across my lips.

"I can't believe you're here."

He chuckled in reply.

"Or maybe I should believe it," I mused. "You were never one to stay dead."

Angel's face darkened and I stared him at with worry. It didn't help when he let go of my hand and sat on the bed next to me, back hunched in submission.

"Angel…you're scaring me."

"There's a reason why I didn't come back human."

"Why would you have come back human?"

"Because one day I will be."

"What the hell are you talking about?!" I cried and instantly regretted it. My head is now killing me.

"Buffy, there's a prophecy that says the vampire with a soul will become human as his final reward."

We lapsed into silence. Human. Angel. Human. Vampire. Human. Soul. Angel.

"Wow."

"Yeah, I thought it was pretty 'wow' when I heard about it too."

"It's not 'wow' now?"

He shook his head, "it's not as important as it once was."

"What? Are you kidding me?" I got to my feet and resisted the urge to pace; instead I turned and faced Angel. I didn't bother to hide my anger. "You, human. And it's not important! I cannot believe _this_ is happening. We could be together, Angel. Isn't that important?"

"Buffy-"

"Don't you 'Buffy' me. Is this the part where you say it's for my own good, that you're trying to do what's best for me? Because if it is, I don't want to hear it."

"It's not." Answered Angel. I folded my arms and waited for him to continue. Angel stared at his hands for several seconds before softly saying, "I don't know where I was after I died, it wasn't heaven and it wasn't hell. There was nothing, but I could think, I was aware. Then I heard voices speaking to me, about what I had done and what I was going to do." He looked up at me, "they told me that I was the vampire with a soul the prophecy was referring to. Spike wasn't the one."

I realised that I never even thought the prophecy might have been about the other vampire with a soul.

"Angel…" I found his name slipped past my lips, I looked at him, silently apologising for my outburst.

"But they also said I wasn't finished doing what I'm meant to do, that's why I'm not human right now. I'm sorry."

I laugh shortly and grin at him, "you have nothing to be sorry for. This is…huge. Big, huge. I can wait."

"I was really hoping you wouldn't have to." He said lightly, I realised that he was trying to not sound as heartbroken as he actually felt. I was heartbroken for him, it was his reward, not mine.

"One day your heart will beat, I'd wait my whole life for that." I took a step toward the bed and kneeled in front of Angel. "You died, but you came back. I don't think I could have handled human Angel on top of being back." That was my attempt at trying to keep it light. I failed. I could have totally handled it and Angel knew it. But he didn't say and I love him for it. Reaching out, I placed my hands over his. "Angel, whatever comes next, you and I are going to be in it together. I've lived too long without you in my life."

"I know the feeling." He whispered, meeting my eyes. We share a small smile and remember when he last said those words to me.

I duck my head and loop a strand of hair behind my ear. "I fell asleep…"

Angel chuckled, "I noticed."

"I kinda hoped you wouldn't have," I joke. I have a bad sense of humour. So does fate.

"Well," Angel reached out and took hold of my hand and pulled me even closer, I'm practically sitting on his lap. "I have something else to say. The voices told me that-"

"What?" I rudely interrupted, "that you have to save the world from aliens, that you have to beat several more apocalypses and then you get to be human?" It might have been funny if (a) I had a sense of humour and if (b) I didn't sound so bitter.

He shook his head; "I have no idea when I'll get my humanity. I don't know what I have to do, what I have to kill, who I have to save. No idea if it will happen before you die." His voice broke on 'die,' I smiled sadly at him and squeezed my hand. "But they did give me something."

"Okay."

He takes an unnecessary breath and slowly lets it out. If he doesn't hurry up and tell me, I swear I'm going to hit him. "They said that although I wasn't going to be human for awhile, it didn't mean I couldn't be happy."

"Wonderful." I mutter, "and that tells us what exactly?"

"That I can be happy."

I know he's trying to tell me something here, and I'm not getting it.

"Perfectly. Happy."

Oh. I get it.

"It's surprisingly hard not to notice the girl you where planning on seducing falling asleep."

"Planning on seducing?" I echo, my mouth suddenly dry. This can't be happening, this cannot be happening. He gets his soul bound and I fall asleep. Okay, okay I didn't know his soul was bound but I fucking fell asleep!

"The thought crossed my mind," smirked Angel. "Several times."

"And I fell asleep."

"But you're awake now," continued Angel, plainly stating the obvious. We were both awake. Wide-awake. Well, I was still hung over, so I'm not totally _there_…

Back on track, Buffy!

Angel placed his hands on the side of my face; I feel tears involuntarily form in my eyes. I really didn't want to cry and blinking wasn't helping so I just let the tears fall.

I gasped as he kissed my tears as they fell down my cheeks.

"Angel…" I didn't mean to sound so amazed, I was planning on playing it cool and try to be casual and not act like this was the happiest moment of my life. I failed miserably.

"You're incredible." He whispered. My stomach flipped out under his lusty gaze, I don't know how I survived without this for five years.

"Do something for me?"

"Anything."

He really did mean anything, didn't he? This man trusts me with his life. Yes, he is a man and he has a life. One that will be spent with me.

"Kiss me."

The kiss was almost tentative, uncertain and careful. But it was still a kiss from Angel; they were always special and made me feel things no other man has been able to conjure. It broke my heart that I hadn't kissed these lips in over a year.

My hands crept up his chest until they were resting in his shoulders; I gripped them tightly and pulled Angel closer. His large hands pressed against the small of my back.

I pulled away to catch my breath, a wide grin on my face. "I love you."

He was quiet for a moment, almost reflective before he replied, "I love you, too."

I leaned forward, let our foreheads touch and breathed him in.

* * *

Not really wide-awake now. I groan as my eyes slowly open, why is my head still pounding? Shouldn't my super-slayer-powers make a hangover go away quicker? Whatever.

The room is dark and the curtains are wide open. Okay, it's night time. At least my brain is functioning on some level.

I roll over expecting to see nothing, to see an empty space in the bed beside me. I don't know why I would think that, I don't have any good reason for thinking Angel wouldn't be there when I woke up…

My heart clenched as I realised that I did. The one time, before last night, we made love he wasn't there when I woke up. He turned into a vicious soul-less killer, but that's not the point right now. The point is I woke up alone.

Waking up alone scares me.

"Morning."

He reaches out and cups my face in one of his large hands; I can't help but smile, which gets wider as I get a smile in return.

"Hi."

That's it? That's the best I can say?

For some reason Angel's smile gets wider. "Hi."

Maybe 'hi' is a good thing. Angel sure likes it, but I'm guessing right now I could say anything and he would like it.

I scoot closer to Angel, and playfully rest my chin on his chest.

"Did you have a nice sleep?" I grin; letting the bliss I'm feeling show. "Cause I'm telling you, I haven't slept that well in a long, long time."

"Same."

"Which part?"

"All parts."

I was at a loss for words, which doesn't happen very often, so I decided to not say something lame and instead laid my head on his chest. Angel's arms wrapped themselves around me, his lips lightly brushing my skin.

I listened for his heartbeat. It was silent; there was no thumping sound of a heart, just perfect silence. Yes, it was perfect.

But I was looking forward to some noise.

THE END.


End file.
